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August 22nd, 2008

10:52 am - ...
I was looking at the calender at work yesterday and I noticed that Laurie didn't write down on it that she will be working for me on the 27th, so now I'm a little worried.  Did she hear the wrong day?  Or forget?  I'm thinking of writing it down so she'll see it on Monday and remember.  But then I think is that bad of me?  Maybe she does remember and I'll just end up coming off like a bitch.  I told her it was for my dietitan and for a surgery I needed.  I think I'm stressing out too much about things right now.  Mom wants me to tell more people about it but I keep telling her I would like to know I'm approved first.  At least tomorrow for a few hours I'll be stress free.  Sharia and I, hopefully Jeny as well, will be going to my Chinese buffet.  I love those girls. 
Current Mood: confusedconfused

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August 8th, 2008

08:17 pm
I have the most amazing manager!  I told her about wanting to get my wls, all the doctors I went had to see, and finally seeing the surgeon on Monday.  Than I told her it could be around the same time as Conni's little vacation.  She told me NOT to worry about it!!!!!  She will get someone to cover, even if it involves pulling someone from another department.  She's happy for me, and that makes me even happier.

Now that my boss knows I feel so relieved.  I feel ready!  :) 
Current Mood: happyhappy

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August 7th, 2008

10:24 pm
 I'm so upset right now but I don't want to cry.

Very few people at work today know that I've been doing my rounds with doctors to get Okay'ed for the lap band surgery.  And the one person who did know (because I was late a few times and wanted her to know why) totally took away my happiness today.  Now, I understand that someone shouldn't do that, but I can't help it.  I told her that I would be getting banded in October and she informed me that she will be taking off the 16th-24th for her daughters wedding.  ARE YOU SERIOUS?!  That many days?!  It's not even an out of state wedding.  Laurie cannot cover for the both of us during that time.  I need this, my health needs this.  I called mom to keep me sane after that and she told me it is possible that very early October I could get this done.  I don't think the dietitian will have all my blood work done by then, and making the appointment to see the surgeon again.  I'm trying to think positive.. trying.

I need to see my dad, I miss him horribly so.  I need to go to Santa Cruz, I need my family.  The love, the support, the beach.. but no, I'm in Oklahoma.  One of my biggest supporters through this whole deal is my dad and he's so far away.  At least I can reach him (most of the time) by phone.  I need to use that plane ticket he bought for me over a yr ago.  But right now, the size I am, along with my knee problem, I wouldn't be comfortable in an airplane at all.  I wanted to fly to San Jose for Christmas and spend it in Santa Cruz and Hollister, but right now, I don't know if that will happen.  Maybe if I lose enough weight on the diet I'll be put on I will feel more at ease to fly..

I feel like the little red caboose..  I think I can, I think I can... I think I can.

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August 4th, 2008

09:58 pm - A new place for me.

I've decided that I need a place for me.  Having friends who have never been overweight I feel it's hard for them to understand, and for me to get the support I need.  I think once I start dropping the weight they will come around, or maybe I just have some high hopes.

Today I had my visit with Dr. Cole.  Having already met him last year and him performing surgery on me, I thought we had already had a small.. bond..  He walked in and the first thing he asked was do you remember me?  I wanted to ask him if he remembered my ass but I kept that comment to myself.  He was super helpful and he didn't rush things at all.  He told me that after my month long diet with the dietitian that I will end up having my surgery in October!  I have never been so excited in my life about something.  I'm excited, happy, nervous, terrified, and a million other emotions, to see how it will affect my health.  

Here's looking to a much longer, healthier life, and a happier me.

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